Too Much
by Corinth
Summary: Elliot can't handle the interrogation of a convicted serial rapistmurderer when the only way to get him to talk is to have him describe what he would do to Olivia. EO, complete. Please R and R!
1. Chapter 1

I own nothing. Be warned, this will be sort of graphic. I suppose if you watch SVU serial rape/murder stuff doesn't freak you out too much, but that's what chapter two is going to be. Please R and R! I promise there will be a happy ending!

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Elliot and I had been working on the hardest case I can remember when it all happened.

Usually, the perps seem to go after one specific group- children, women, people of a certain race. This guy was not like that. He targeted everyone, which is why it took us so long to connect him to all the victims that kept showing up. By the time we got him, he had at least twenty deaths to his name.

The victims ranged in age from eight to sixty-three; the majority were female, but some of the children were male. People of all races were among the dead, so it was not a case of hate crimes. We couldn't classify it. It was just horrible.

When we finally nabbed the guy and told him that he was under arrest for the raping, torturing, and murdering twenty-two people, he just laughed. I remember looking at Elliot, both of us thinking the same thing. Was this maniac responsible for every open case on the books?

We decided not to wait to tie him to any other crimes, but just to get him sentenced with what we had. Casey assured us he would get the death penalty no matter what, and we all wanted him put away as soon as possible.

Cragen wanted Elliot and me to talk with him and try to get the names of the remaining victims. Neither of us was at all happy to do it, but we both had a sense of duty toward the families of the unknown victims. It would be better for them to know.

One of the guards led the two of us into an interrogation room, while Cragen and Huang stood outside, watching. I forced a smile. "Huang doesn't want to risk being with a death row guy again?" I asked.

Elliot smiled back, equally tense. "No." We both remembered all too well the time Huang and Elliot were attacked in the middle of their meeting with a man hours from being executed. I hoped that, this time, the perp would not only be unarmed but also restrained.

I sat at one end of the table and Elliot stood at the other. I saw him taking deep breaths, and knew how hard this was for him. Of course, it was hard for all of us, but Elliot always got particularly upset during the multiple-victim cases. I could almost feel the hatred radiating from him.

The perp was escorted in, held securely by two guards. They did indeed use manacles to attach his arms and legs to his chair, which was bolted into the ground.

As soon as they left, I forced myself to look at him. Peter Strapp.

It is when men look like him that I question their sanity. You can just tell which ones are serial killers and which ones are simply killers, or rapists. In fact, it seems so obvious to me that I am always shocked that it takes us so long to find them, that they seem to be the last people we ever suspect.

Strapp had a facial tic that became more exaggerated when he got emotional. That turned out to be the break in the case. One victim managed to get away- the only one, as far as we knew- and she told us that her attacker's face had been positively convulsing by the time he finished raping her. We were out canvassing when we ran into Strapp. Elliot started giving him a hard time about something, I don't even remember what, but his face started twitching so much that he could hardly talk anymore. We immediately brought him to the station and booked him after the victim picked him out of a line-up and we got DNA confirmation.

He also had the weirdest light green eyes. I know, I know, that's just something genetic and I am not saying that serial killers all have light eyes. I'm just saying that all in all, he looked deranged.

And he was.

Elliot started the questioning. "So, Pete…how does it feel to know you are going to die?"

He said nothing in reply. We expected that. Ordinarily Elliot wouldn't have come on so strong and so ruthlessly, but we didn't think we'd get a thing out of him until we angered him. As such, I wasn't going to be saying much. We didn't think he would bother to be angered by a woman.

"Look at me," Elliot commanded. Strapp did not move. "LOOK AT ME!" Elliot walked over to him and leaned down. "You're a sick bastard, but before you go burn in hell, we need to know who your other victims were."

Strapp seemed to still be completely ignoring Elliot, but he raised his eyes to my face. It was hard not to shudder. He was looking at me sadistically, probably the same way he had looked at all of the victims before he went after them. I did my best to stare back condescendingly.

Elliot continued trying to get Strapp to talk for about ten minutes, but nothing was working. He was still staring at me, his eyes roaming all over. I glanced at Elliot, telling him I was going to try.

"How many people did you kill?"

He gave me a horrible smile. "Thirty-three," he said casually.

"God damn it," Elliot muttered. I shared his sentiments. A third of the victims were still unnamed. Eleven families still had no idea what had happened to their loved ones.

Elliot motioned to me. He was wearing an earpiece, and I gathered that Cragen and Huang wanted to talk to us. We left the room, leaving Strapp behind us. I could feel his eyes following me.

"That son of a bitch," Elliot said as soon as we were out. We met Cragen and Huang.

"That's a lot more victims than we expected," Cragen said tiredly, rubbing his neck.

It sure as hell was. We had hoped it would be around two more, four or five at the most.

I turned to Huang. "Any ideas?"

He glanced at Strapp. "He won't talk until he sees a reason to. For a man like him, reliving the violence is exciting, but not enough. His greatest pleasure comes in imagining new crimes, things he could do differently." Huang looked at me and my heart fell. I knew what he was thinking, because it was the same thing I had been considering. I had just hoped he would have a different idea.

Cragen and Elliot saw that some understanding had passed between us. "What?" Cragen asked. Elliot just looked worried.

"Me," I replied.

Elliot's eyes shot to Huang, then back to me. "What?!"

"He's been staring at Olivia this whole time. He would only answer her. If she asks him what he did to the victims, he wouldn't say anything. But if you find out what he would do to her, and get him to reference the names of the victims, we'll get what we need."

Elliot was facing the wall, shaking his head. "No. No. No way."

"Elliot-" I began, but he cut me off.

"No. It's not worth it."

I put my hand on his arm. "Elliot. There are eleven families who are missing their wives, their kids, their siblings. That's more important. It's not like he'll actually do anything to me."

He shook his head and opened his mouth to argue again, but I stopped him. "Elliot. Come on."

He looked at me, his eyes shining. "Liv," he said desperately. I squeezed his arm, and he closed his eyes. "Fine."


	2. Chapter 2

We went back into the room and I took up my spot again. Elliot stood in a corner, leaning against the wall. I was very uneasy, but at least I wasn't about to hyperventilate. I thought Elliot might be close.

"How do you choose your victims?" I asked, looking right into his eyes.

He gave me that same smile. "I can just feel it. Something about them turns me on."

"If you could pick anyone, right now, who would it be?"

"You."

I heard Elliot shift. I hoped he could handle it. I hoped I could handle it. "And what would you do to me?" I heard myself ask.

He leaned forward. "What wouldn't I do to you?" he whispered, his tic becoming more rapid.

"If you saw me out on the street, what would you do?"

"I'd follow you until you were alone. Then I'd hit you in the neck from behind."

"Knocking me out."

"Yeah." His eyes raked over me again. "I'd take you to my…bachelor pad. I'd tie you down on the floor. It has nails coming out of it. But not enough," he added with a smirk, "to support your weight. They would cut into you."

Thankfully, I did not feel like he was actually talking about me. I was doing ok. I could do it for the families. I wished I could see Elliot, to know how he was holding out.

"And then what?" I asked.

"I'd blindfold you, leave you without food and water for a few days."

"How many days?"

"Two."

"Why two?"

He shook his head. "I left a girl without for three, and she died before I could have any fun."

"What was her name?"

"Leslie Richards."

One down. "Did anyone else die before you meant them too?" I asked. I would go back to questioning him about what he would do to me if I had to.

"Patricia Lewis. Renee Diamond. Dylan Haught. Saara Olufsen."

"What happened to them?"

"They all bled to death. I hadn't honed my…skills…enough." His eyes flicked over my chest. "I wouldn't make that mistake with you."

"Will you tell me the rest of the names?"

He regarded me maniacally. "No. You have to earn it."

I wasn't surprised. "What else would you do to me?"

He smirked. "After not feeding you or giving you water, you'd be weak. Dehydrated. I'd tell you to fight back, but you'd say that you couldn't. And I'd show you otherwise."

"How?"

"I'd break your fingers, one by one. And then I'd make you touch me." I saw him looking at my hands. I moved them under the table.

"What if I fought back and got away?"

"You wouldn't. I wouldn't have tied you down with just rope. It would have been with chains."

"Who escaped when you used the rope?"

"Keisha Raymond. But I killed her a block away."

"Then what?" I asked softly. There was no noise from Elliot. I wondered what he was doing, if he was listening. I guess it would have been hard for him not to.

"I would rape you with sticks, with pipes…anything. Everything. I'd rape you personally too. I'd make you tell me you liked it."

"And if I told you that I didn't?"

"I'd break your neck. Like Raquel Vega."

"Has anyone else every told you they didn't like it?"

"David Arnold. But he changed his mind when I stabbed him in the leg."

He looked down for a moment and I stole a glance over my shoulder at Elliot. I was terrified to see him slumped against the wall, staring at the corner, shaking. I was not fast enough turning around, and Strapp noticed where I was looking. He smiled at me.

"Not doing too well, is he?" he asked quietly.

I knew that Strapp was aware I was manipulating him to get the names. He was not an idiot. He was just a psycho. "Just get on with it," I snapped at him. "Tell me the last three names."

He ignored me. "I'd make you stab yourself in the arms and legs and then I'd rape you again. I'd show you how much blood you were losing and if you passed out, I'd slap you until you woke up." He stared at me, trying to make me look away. "Danielle Clifton."

Two more. Two more. That was all I thought. I didn't care what the hell he said he'd do to me. We were so close.

"You'd give me a blow job and I'd cum all over you. Before you got away from me, I'd throw you down and beat you with a pipe. You'd beg me to end it, to kill you."

I just watched him, silent.

"Mary Dover."

One more.

"When you were in so much pain that you couldn't stay conscious for more than a few seconds, I'd end it. I'd shoot you in the head." His face was twitching so much I could hardly understand his words anymore. "And then I'd rape you one more time."

He stared into my eyes and I stared right back for what felt like minutes but was probably more like five seconds. "Tell me the last name," I said coldly.

"You."

I just looked at him. "What?"

"You were going to be my next. Isn't life funny? I didn't even realize you were a cop until you and your blubbering partner questioned me. But I had my eye on you. I was going to follow you that very day, actually. Looks like you lucked out." His expression of perverted pleasure seemed to be burning my eyes.

I stood up. "We're done here."

The two guards returned and unlocked his manacles. I refused to even look at him again as they marched him out, but I know he was looking at me.

When the door shut, I let out a sigh of relief. It had been pretty bad, it's true. But I was ok. And we could offer some sort of closure to ten families.

I turned around to find Elliot sliding down the wall, his face buried in his hands.


	3. Chapter 3

I practically ran to Elliot's side, but I still didn't reach him before he had slid all the way down the wall. I dropped to my knees beside him. "Elliot?" I asked, fear making my voice shake.

I heard the door open behind me and I looked around. Cragen and Huang were standing in the doorway, looking concerned. I waved at them, letting them know I'd stay with Elliot. Cragen nodded and mouthed, "Good job."

The two of them left, and I was glad to know that soon ten families would have answers. The whole me-as-the-eleventh-victim thing had not hit me yet. I was sure that later, given time to process, it would freak me out a lot more. But right then I needed to take care of Elliot.

"Elliot?" I said again. "Say something." His silence was terrifying me.

I reached for his arm, but he tried to throw me off. I tried again only to receive the same reaction, but then he started sobbing. I had not been prepared for that. Oh, my Elliot.

His body was wracked with shudders. I moved so I was sitting beside him and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him to my chest. He clung to me like a small child, his tears soaking my shirt. I stroked his back, trying to calm him. "Shh, Elliot, it's ok. It's fine. I'm fine."

"Liv," he whispered so quietly I hardly heard him. "Olivia."

"Shh." I rested my chin on the top of his head. I never in my life thought that I would be comforting Elliot Stabler, not like that. I had never seen him so out of control. It scared me.

As I sat there, rocking him, I thought back to an exchange we had been having a week before. We were eating dinner at our desks, alone in the office. Everyone else had gone home. Elliot had looked at me for a long time, and then he said, "There's no one like you, Liv."

I had laughed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He didn't answer. He looked at me for a few more seconds, and then he just smiled and went back to his food. I went home, overjoyed that Elliot seemed to feel something for me. I had loved him for years.

Elliot's voice brought me back to the present. "I'm sorry," he said. He had stopped crying.

"For what?"

"I didn't help much during this interrogation."

I leaned back so I could look into his eyes. They seemed bluer than usual, and I felt myself drowning. "There wasn't much for you to do." I made to stand up, but he pulled me back.

"Olivia…can we just…sit here for a while?"

I nodded, my heart melting for him. "Of course we can, babe."

It was the first time I had ever called him that, and I saw a smile play across his lips. I smiled too.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far! I REALLY appreciate all your input. I received a comment telling me chapter 3 was too short, and I wanted to address that. I know it tends to bother people when they wait for an update and then it is really short...the only thing I can say, I guess, is that short chapters lead to more updates. I don't want to disappoint anyone...but on the other hand, I don't want to put a bunch of fluff into chapters to make them longer, and sometimes I just don't think two short chapters should be joined to make a single long one. But here, I will give you chapter 4 a bit earlier than I planned to hopefully make you happy. The next few chapters will be longer than 3 and 4. Anyway, I hope people continue reading and reviewing!

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We sat there for a long time, just holding each other. Elliot's fingers were running up and down my arm, making me shiver. 

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

I turned to face him. Throwing caution to the winds, I said, "I love you."

A huge smile broke across his face. Considering what a mess he had been before, I almost burst with joy to see him happy again. "I love you too, Olivia." He kissed my forehead. "Let's get out of here."

I was glad to. I hoped that getting out of the room would help Elliot forget what he had heard. I knew it was still bothering him, but the initial shock and horror were past.

We walked side by side out into the parking lot. Cragen and Huang were waiting for us. "Been here long?" I asked.

"A few minutes," Cragen answered. He cast a worried look at Elliot, who was trying his best to look like everything was ok. "I called the families. They were upset…but grateful to know. They said thank you."

I nodded.

Cragen pulled me aside. "Get him home."

"I will, Cap." I tried to give a reassuring smile.

I was surprised when he pulled me into a hug. "It was hard on us, too," he said, meaning himself and Huang.

They both got into his car and pulled away. Elliot and I went to ours. "I'll drive," I said firmly, and he smiled.

The whole way to his apartment, Elliot seemed unwilling to stop touching me. He kept his hand on my leg, as if assuring himself that I was really there. I sighed inwardly. I hoped he would be ok.

I went with him into his apartment and set about making us both coffee. He sat silently at the table, staring at the wooden surface. It broke my heart.

I was not at all glad that Elliot was so upset by the whole thing, but at least I had someone else to care about. I wasn't left with any time to worry about my own feelings, though I knew I'd eventually have to face up to what Strapp had said. I would have nightmares, I would feel violated, but I'd be ok. First I needed to make sure Elliot was ok.

I sat beside him, handing him a steaming mug. "Want to talk?" I offered. I saw his hands clench around the cup. "Hey," I said softly, lifting his chin with my index finger.

He sighed. "It was just…too much, Olivia. Too much."

"I know. I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "You did what you thought you had to do. And maybe you did have to do it. But that doesn't make me like it."

"I know."

He took my hand in his. "You know how much these serial guys get to me. Not that I'm condoning the guys who flip out at their girlfriends and rape them…but this guy had _no_ reason. No reason, except that he is evil. And I just…I couldn't handle him."

"I know." I caressed the back of his hand with my fingertips.

"I should have been strong for you."

"You can't always be strong, Elliot," I countered gently.

"I should be able to be. For you."

I smiled. "I appreciate it. But you're human. Things will get to you. And I would never," I said, leaning down so I could see into his eyes, "never love you less for showing weakness."

He ran his thumb along my jaw. "God, I love you, Liv."

"I'm glad."


	5. Chapter 5

We didn't do much else that day. Neither of us wanted to talk anymore, really, so we just watched the news. I was too exhausted to think much of anything, but it did occur to me at one point how natural it felt to be laying with my head on Elliot's chest, his hand rubbing the small of my back. It was as if we had been like that for years.

Elliot eventually fell asleep though it was only eight. I was glad he could sleep. I couldn't. I was trying not to think about Strapp, but I couldn't help it. Then, as if the universe teamed up with the news to make me face up to it, a story about Strapp's arrest and pending execution came on.

That was when it all hit me. Wow. I was going to be his next victim. No wonder he was looking at me that way the whole time. And that meant…he had already planned what to do to me. His ideas had not been impromptu responses to my questioning; it was all what he was actually going to do to me before we caught him. Damn.

I sighed. I was glad to be there with Elliot. I felt safe with him holding on to me, his slow, deep breaths giving me something to concentrate on other than the newscaster's voice. I finally fell asleep too.

The first time I woke up that night, I saw that I was in Elliot's bed. His arm was around my waist, and I could feel his breath on my neck. I glanced at the digital clock on the bedside table and saw that it was a little past midnight. I scooted closer to Elliot, kissed his cheek, and went back to sleep.

The second time I woke up because I felt a sudden movement beside me. My eyes opened in time to see Elliot shoot up out of bed, gasping for breath. He looked around wildly, his eyes falling on me after a few panicked seconds. He slowed his breathing, reaching out to rest his hand on my cheek.

I propped myself up on one arm. "Hey," I said softly, placing my hand over his. "You ok?"

He shrugged. "Yeah. I'm ok."

I knew he really wasn't, but I let it go. We didn't talk for a while, even though we were both awake. I had my hand resting on Elliot's stomach and he was absent-mindedly tracing patterns on the skin of my arm.

"Promise me you'll be careful?" he said finally.

"You know I'll be careful, Elliot. But…."

"But?"

"You know as well as I do that things happen. Something almost did happen."

He gripped me tighter. "Yeah, I know." He sighed. "How are you doing?"

I flipped onto my stomach so I could look at him. "I'm…I don't know."

"Scared?"

I considered. "No. Not really. No more than usual, anyway. There's always a little bit of fear in our job. Hell, there's always a little bit of fear in this world. And my being a cop had nothing to do with this. He just…liked me. Picked me. It was all out of my control."

"I wish it was in mine."

I smiled at him. Looking down at my hands, I said, "I think I'm just…surprised." I laughed dryly. "I know that doesn't sound like much of a reaction…but it's the only word I can think of. You and me, we've both had close calls over the years. This was just…well, the closest. It also makes me feel differently about my mom."

"How so?"

"It's just that…I mean, my mom lived through it. And she had me…a daily reminder of what happened. Strapp didn't even do anything to me, and I don't particularly want to remember it. I just feel…guilty…and…if he had done all that to me, it would have been my…my…."

"Punishment," Elliot finished for me, his voice so weak I almost couldn't hear him.

I nodded.

"Don't say that, Olivia. Don't even think it, because it's not true."

"I made her suffer every day. It was my fault that she started drinking and that she was so unhappy. I de-"

"_Don't_," Elliot interrupted me forcefully, "say you deserve it."

I was taken aback by his tone of voice. He sounded so angry. I didn't say another word, but just looked at him.

"Olivia…" he sighed, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. He closed his eyes for a moment. "Olivia, do you have any idea how horrible the world would be without you? Leave your mom's pain out of this. You have helped so many victims finally feel safe, finally feel understood. You have risked your life to protect people you don't even know because that doesn't stop you from caring about them." He sat up slightly so he could kiss me. "You have been there for my kids when Kathy wasn't. You have been there for me when I was at rock bottom. You never give up on anyone…there are a thousand more reasons that I can't even begin to explain right now, but it all comes down to this: no one deserves pain, Liv. Especially not you."

"Elliot," I whispered, leaning down to bring my lips to his again. I still wasn't sure that I believed him. I still felt guilty for the pain I caused my mother, but knowing that Elliot did not blame me was enough.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I finished writing this story last night, and there will be fourteen chapters all together. Hang in there with me, guys! Thanks for the reviews!

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It was really weird going back to work the next day. That happens every once in a while, after a particularly tough case. Usually, dealing with these rapes and murders is 'all in a day's work'…but after the ones that are so hard, so exhausting, it always feels like we should get a break or something. Part of it is just fatigue, but part of it, for me anyway, is this shock that even after getting a particularly horrible perp, there is still crime. I should probably stop being so naïve. Nothing ever changes.

It was also strange, being there with Elliot. I was nervous about something other than the potential crimes for the first time I could remember. I hoped we could still work together. I was trying to figure out if we needed to keep everything a secret from Cragen…and I decided we did. Elliot must have come to the same conclusion because he treated me exactly the same as usual. His 'usual' treatment of me, and mine of him, had become more and more intimate over the years, so our caution was probably not necessary. Everyone most likely already knew there was something between us.

I talked with Fin and John for a few minutes about the Strapp case. They were both impressed that I got the rest of the names out of him. I neglected to tell them about his next intended victim, cutting down the final statistics he had told us by one. Elliot made quite a show out of shuffling through papers during the conversation, pretending not to be paying attention, but I could still see his hands shaking. I doubt John and Fin noticed anything, but if they did, they were kind enough not to mention it.

"Well, aren't we lucky to have a pretty female cop on the job," Fin commented. "I bet Strapp wouldn't have thought talking about one of us was so hot."

I forced myself to laugh. Elliot excused himself to go get some coffee, and I followed him.

"God damn Fin," he muttered to me as I approached.

I shrugged. "Come on, Elliot, you know he doesn't mean anything by it."

"Right."

I touched his wrist. "They weren't there. They can't know how it was. And you know they wouldn't want me to be upset or hurt."

He sighed, rolling his head around to stretch his neck. His eyes met mine. "Yeah, I know." I smiled at him, and he smiled back. "Fin was right about one thing."

I laughed. "What, that Strapp wouldn't have found you hot?"

"No, that you are pretty. Well…he actually understated, because you are beautiful."

We looked at each other for a few minutes, both of us actively holding ourselves back, keeping ourselves from jumping on each other right there in the office. I shook my head, grinning. "You're going to make this hard, aren't you?"

"Maybe," he replied with a smirk, grabbing his cup and heading back to his desk. I rolled my eyes and followed him.

I decided I didn't really need to be worried about our ability to keep our relationship a secret from the guys. I had been keeping my feelings for Elliot under wraps for such a long time that it was habit, and Elliot was probably in the same situation.

I was just sitting down when Cragen came out of his office, looking harassed. I don't know that I've ever seen him not looking that way. "Victoria Edwards, eighteen year old college freshman, went to a frat party, didn't drink anything alcoholic, but she got raped."

I glanced down at the file he handed me. I looked up in surprise. "You already got the guy?"

"One of them."

"How many are we looking for?" Elliot asked, looking over my shoulder at the file.

"Victim claims there were two others."

"So how'd we get this guy already?" Fin asked, voicing the question we all had. It seemed strange that though one had been caught, the other two were still unnamed.

Cragen shook his head. "The guy we got, David Hunter, showed up at the same hospital, claiming _he'd_ been raped."

Our eyes all shot to our captain. "Rape kit?" I asked, already sure I knew what had happened.

Cragen nodded at me, seeing my understanding. "The DNA wasn't in the system, so we have no IDs, but the two other guys who raped Victoria also raped David."

We all stood in silence for a few minutes, before John said, "That's different."

I think we all almost laughed. We didn't find the situation funny…it was just a John thing.

"Right," Cragen said, getting us all back on track. "Elliot, Olivia, I want you two to take David. Fin, John, talk to Victoria. She has been claiming not to know the names of any of her attackers, but see if she remembers anything else."

We all left the office. Elliot drove us to the hospital where David was. I could tell it was going to be another difficult case. Not difficult in the same way as the Strapp one had been, because the level of violence was not even comparable, but it would be hard to know how to act. Elliot and I both pity the victims and are hard on the perps, and now we had to deal with a perp turned victim. It was hard to determine the level of sympathy we should feel.

I followed Elliot into the hospital room. David was sitting up in bed, staring blankly out the window. I approached him first. "David?" He turned to me. "I'm Detective Olivia Benson and this is my partner Detective Elliot Stabler. Can you tell us what happened last night?"

He gave me a smile that I'm sure had sent many a college freshman head over heels. I was less impressed. "Olivia. That's a pretty name."

"Yeah, the prettiness of my name aside, tell us what happened."

He shrugged. "Nothing. I have no idea why they are keeping my here."

I looked around at Elliot. He came forward. "You came here saying you were raped, and the rape kit came back with two sets of DNA."

"Hey, I just want to get out of here. I don't remember anything from last night…I was way too stoned." His eyes passed over me. "I think I had a dream about you, though. What are you doing now?"

Elliot lunged forward and grabbed David by the neck of his hospital gown. "Listen, you little punk. We are here to find out who raped you because, though you may have conveniently forgotten, you and the two guys who raped you did the same thing to a girl and we are going to arrest you all. And don't you dare make another pass at my partner, we clear?"

My heart stopped. "Elliot."

He remained frozen for a few seconds, then straightened up and backed away from the bed. "Give us a second," I said to David, and led Elliot outside, shutting the door behind me. "What the hell was that, Elliot?"

He had immediately started pacing. "You know what, Olivia, the last thing I need right now is another loser coming after you."

"No, Elliot, the last thing you need right now is another perp complaining about how you use excessive force. The last thing you need is to be hit with charges of assault and lose your job."

"That little bastard-"

"Yeah, I'm not overly pleased with him either, Elliot, but we have to talk to him. He's just a stupid kid! Let it go!"

"Yeah. Sure."

I grabbed his arm, making him look at me. "Can we do this, Elliot?" I asked softly. "Can we still work together?"

He turned from me and went back into the room.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I know this is a short chapter, so I promise to update again tomorrow. Thanks, guys!

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We did not talk again until we were back at the precinct after interviewing David. He had not been officially released, so we couldn't arrest him yet. After Elliot parked, we both sat there, not moving. I stared determinedly out the windshield, waiting for Elliot to talk.

"We can do this, Liv," he said finally.

I looked at him, my eyes probing his, trying to read his mind. "I hope so, Elliot."

"We can. I promise. It's just going to be hard for me not to worry about you."

"I don't want to work with someone else, El. I don't think I could do that. I need you here…but I also need you when we aren't here."

He reached out and ran his fingers through my hair. "I'll be better." He gave me that half-smile of his that I love so much. "I'll chill out. I'll only attack people who are actually going to do something to you."

I smiled. "That would probably be best."

"You can trust me."

I unbuckled my seatbelt. "I never had any doubt that I could trust you, Elliot." I leaned toward him and kissed him.

We went into the station, Elliot squeezing my hand briefly before letting me enter first. I saw Cragen, Fin, and John all standing near Cragen's office, so I led Elliot over to them. "What'd you find out?" I asked them.

Fin shrugged. "Nothing much. All she had to drink was water, but she left her cup on a counter and came back for it later. She tested positive for GHB."

"Did she remember anything else important?" Cragen asked.

"Apparently one of the guys referred to one of our friends as Paul," John said, "to which Paul eloquently replied, 'Dude, shut the fuck up'."

"David was probably the one who slipped up," Elliot said. "They lost faith in him, thought he was trying to give up their identities to the girl."

"So they needed some way to shut him up," Cragen finished. "They thought David wouldn't report his own rape because it could get him in trouble for Victoria's."

I sighed. "Not to mention the fact that men are usually too ashamed to report being raped. David told Elliot and me that he can't remember last night because he was too stoned. He was lying, though. He looked really upset before he realized we were there."

Elliot laughed humorlessly. "Didn't seem that upset to me."

"Why not?" Fin asked.

"He managed to hit on Olivia a couple of times."

"That was a defense mechanism," Huang said, having just joined the group. "He is ashamed that he was raped, even more ashamed that he told anyone, and trying to reassert his masculinity by flirting with someone completely out of his league."

"We got back the tox screen on David," Cragen put in. "He was absolutely not stoned. Not even drunk."

Elliot rolled his eyes. "Does it seem to anyone else that people are getting worse and worse at lying?"

We all laughed. It was pretty ridiculous. People claimed to have been somehow impaired in lots of our rape cases. They always seemed to forget that we could find out if that was true.

Cragen looked at Elliot and me. "The hospital is waiting to release him until you get there. Bring him in. Then tell him that we know he wasn't on drugs, and make him give up the other two. You think you can make him talk?"

Elliot smiled at me. "Oh yeah. He and I got along really well."

We headed back out the door.


	8. Chapter 8

David absolutely refused to talk to us until we put a deal on the table, and for that we needed Casey. I knew we could count on her to make the right decision regarding how much leniency to offer him. Elliot and I, especially Elliot, were steadily losing any sympathy we had for him. Sure, his friends ganged up on him, but he chose to participate in rape, even if not his own. The only real difference between him and the other two rapists was, perhaps, a feeling of guilt. That didn't mean much.

Casey sat across from David while Elliot and I went to the other ends of the table.

"I want a deal," David said immediately.

"Well, you're not going to get much of one," Casey replied shortly, folding her hands and looking at him. "You used GHB to make a young woman susceptible to rape, you allowed two of your friends to rape her, and then you raped her. The fact that they then turned on you says nothing of import, except that you need new friends. You're looking at ten to twelve years."

David paled. "They raped me too!"

"I'm aware of that. And if you tell me who 'they' are, they will both get twenty years. But you have to tell me their names."

"Take off a few years," he demanded.

Casey regarded him for a few minutes, watching his panic escalate as he thought about twelve years in prison. She was waiting to see if he would break. He managed to get himself under control, however, so she said, "I'll knock it down to reckless endangerment, conspiracy, and rape two if you tell us." David looked like he was going to argue, so Casey spoke again. "It's off the table if we don't know those names in the next ten seconds. I'm not going lower."

"Fine," he said quickly. "They are Paul Jameson and Rodney Polk."

I saw Elliot glance at the mirror on the wall behind which Cragen, Fin, and John had been waiting to hear the names. I knew they were heading out to pick up the perps.

"What happened last night?" Elliot asked.

David rubbed his face. "We went to this frat party, figuring there'd be a lot of drunk girls who would want to get laid. And then Paul saw Victoria…he asked her out a few months ago and she completely blew him off. He was pissed, and said she'd be sorry. I don't know where he got the GHB, but we put it in her drink when she left."

"Who put it there?"

He glanced down at the table. "I did."

"Victoria said she didn't know who raped her. She didn't name Paul."

"She didn't even look at him when he asked her out. She wouldn't have remembered him."

"Then what happened?"

"Paul dragged her upstairs. She was really out of it. He started raping her, and then Rodney did. I don't really know how I got mixed up in the whole thing because I didn't want to rape her…but I…I did anyway. We brought her back downstairs and just dumped her on a couch. Rodney and Paul were cracking up, saying it served her right. I was freaking out and I said we shouldn't have done it. And Paul…he asked me if I was going to be a pussy and rat them out. I didn't answer fast enough…so they attacked me and raped me."

My sympathy had somewhat returned. I still in no way thought he deserved to get off, but I at least appreciated that he was going to do the right thing and call the cops.

When we finished getting his statement, we went out to find Cragen and see the other two perps. However, when we found the captain, he told Elliot and me to go home.

"Why?" Elliot asked in surprise.

Cragen looked at us kindly. "I can tell you are both still thinking about yesterday."

"It's that obvious?" Elliot asked quietly.

"Yes," Cragen replied, but his tone was kind. "Go get some rest. We'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks, Cap," I said, and Elliot and I left.

"Let's get something to eat," he said, draping his arm over my shoulders.

"Ok."

We got take out and went to Central Park where we sat on a bench and faced west to see the sunset.

"It feels so weird not to be at the office," I said. "When do you think the last time you sat and watched the sun set was?"

He brought my cheek to his shoulder. "Probably when I was overseas," he said softly.

"You had time?"

"Once or twice." He kissed the top of my head. "How are you doing?"

"I'm ok."

"You weren't too bothered by it all today?"

"Not too much." I thought about it. What had been the strangest was hearing the word 'rape' tossed around so much. I know, I know, I work for SVU and 'rape' is probably the most frequently used word in that office, but all of a sudden it had even more significance for me. I could never hear it without thinking of my mom at least on some level, but now my head was flooded with images of my mom crying, drinking, yelling. I sighed.

"Can I be honest with you, Liv?"

I lifted my head off his shoulder. "Of course you can, Elliot."

He nodded. "Ok. I'm…surprised…at how calmly you are taking this. I know that it made you feel guilty about your mom, but when it comes to you…you seem completely emotionless."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean…well, you saw how I couldn't handle it. I just couldn't ignore that he was talking about _you_…my partner, my best friend, the woman I love…. I still can't get these horrible images out of my head…because it's personal. He wasn't just talking about some random woman; it was you. And you seem to…well, not care, or something."

I prepared to deny his observations, but I found that I couldn't. I couldn't, because he was right. He was right.

"Olivia?"

I realized that I hadn't said anything in probably a few minutes. "I…I don't know why I'm not more…upset," I stuttered. "Maybe it will just take time?"

"Maybe," he replied gently, hugging me tightly. "Just know that it's not unprofessional to be upset by this."

I laughed. "You think I care about being professional?" I asked, running my hand up his leg to emphasize that our professional relationship was in shambles.

"I hope not," he joked, but his expression was serious when he caught my hand and brought it to his lips.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: This chapter contains a PG13 lemon, just so you know. Also, I am going to be out of town without access to a computer until Wednesday, so I am giving you three chapters now...and leaving you with a cliffie. Ahahahahahahaha. I promise to post again on Wednesday, and your part of the deal is to REVIEW! Thanks, guys!

* * *

We both knew, without even discussing it, what we were going to do when we got back to my apartment. We had both wanted it for months, even years, and never so desperately as during the last couple of days. Exhaustion had kept us from it, but we knew it was time. I also thought it would make us feel better about the whole Strapp thing.

As soon as I locked the door behind us, Elliot pressed me up against the wall. I wrapped my arms around his back and pulled him right up against me, breathing in the smell of his cologne. I kissed him as hard as I could, needing to be close to him, needing to feel him. Just needing him.

Suddenly, he laughed.

"What?" I asked, pulling back slightly.

"I was just thinking what Cragen would say if he knew that he sent us home to rest but we are doing this."

I groaned, pulling Elliot back to me. "Don't mention Cragen. He's the last person I want to think about right now."

"Oh yeah?" Elliot asked, trailing kisses along my neck. "Who's the first?"

"Shut up, Elliot," I whispered, bringing his lips back to mine.

Somehow we managed to maneuver into my bedroom where I laid down on my back and Elliot climbed on top of me. Our lips never parting, I unbuttoned his shirt so he could pull it off and throw it aside. We had to stop kissing when Elliot brought my shirt over my head and he immediately attacked my mouth again, as if it had been five years and not five seconds that we were apart.

When we were both finally free of our clothes, Elliot ran his hands up my sides. I had never before felt so safe, so…right. "God, Olivia," Elliot whispered against my lips.

I thought I might pass out when we finally came together. I could not hold back my gasps as I struggled to hold on as long as I could, to prolong our time together. My hands played across his back, feeling his muscles, assuring me that it was all really happening, that I was really making love to Elliot Stabler.

I have no idea how long that first time lasted. It seemed like many wonderful years, and yet it was over too soon. I wanted to maintain our connection for the rest of my life. As we both reached the end, calling out each other's name, I was truly the happiest I could ever remember being. I was in love with the best man I knew and he loved me too.

Elliot collapsed beside me, breathing hard. I wiped a drop of sweat from his forehead, looking deep into his eyes. "Elliot," I said, smiling.

He smiled back. "I love you, Liv."

"I love you too."

His fingertips brushed the skin of my face. "I'll never leave you. I'll be here for the rest of my life."

"Me too." I knew that was the best we could do, but it was fine. Getting married was not an option, not then. As much as I wanted it, I didn't need that kind of commitment from Elliot. I knew him; his word was as reliable as any official contract. If I couldn't trust Elliot, I couldn't trust anyone.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Just to explain myself in case anyone gets upset, when Munch says the perp may be a pro-life nutcase, I'm not editorializing about being pro-life. I know only a few pro-life people go the violent way, just like only a few supporters of fill-in-the-blank are violent.

* * *

Life continued on without much change for the next few weeks. Elliot and I adjusted fine to being in love and having to work together. He didn't have another episode like the one with David again even though there were a couple of perps who flirted with me. It had always been like that, which is one of the reasons two women would never be partnered although men are. Sexual equality and feminism can be taken too far. I'm obviously glad that I can be a cop despite being a woman and I know there are plenty of women who thrive in the same scary situations as men, but I wouldn't feel safe without a male partner. Women are just targeted a lot more.

We dealt with lots of fairly tame cases which was a relief after the Strapp case, but we eventually got another really tough one. It was not at all as violent as the other (I hoped I would never encounter one that was worse), but it was still hard because we had no idea what the perp's motivation was.

There had been a string of rapes, all within a few days of each other. None of the women knew their attacker and none could even give many details about him. All we knew for sure was that he was tall, strong, and probably deranged.

Most rapists use condoms in an attempt to protect against any DNA evidence. This man did not do that. His DNA was not in the system so we could not ID him, but we could conclusively tie him to six rapes. The only other information the women could give us was that the man did not say a word until the very end when he said to each of them, "Abortion is murder." He then made them repeat the phrase over and over while he held them at gunpoint.

"What it comes down to," Elliot said, coming over to the rest of us at John's desk, "is that this guy wants to impregnate his victims."

"And he wants them to keep the babies," I added, trying to sound nonchalant. I'm sure Elliot knew that I was again feeling guilty.

"We checked with abortion clinics in the area, thinking this guy might be a pro-life nutcase getting back at women who have had abortions, but nothing came back." John handed Elliot two files. "Teresa Brooks is the only one with kids, and Nicola Vasquez had a miscarriage. None of the other vics have ever been pregnant."

"Margo Swenson and Alice Dunaway were found together," Fin said. "They both say they had never met before."

I sighed. The case made absolutely no sense. None of the women knew each other, they didn't go to any of the same places, they didn't even look similar. I felt like my brain wasn't working, and I knew I wasn't the only one. To make matters worse, though, I had been feeling light-headed and dizzy for a couple days. I wasn't sure what was wrong, but I wasn't at all concerned. It just made concentration even harder.

Cragen came over. "Another woman just came forward. Mari Sahili."

"Taken the same way?" Fin asked.

"Yes, she was unlocking her front door when she was hit in the head from behind, knocking her out. She was found in an alley by some kids."

"Anything new about the attacker?"

"Blue eyes," Cragen said pointlessly.

"That should narrow it down nicely," John remarked, looking back through the files. He glanced up at me. "You don't look so good, Olivia."

All eyes turned to me in concern. I shrugged. "I'm ok. Just a little off for some reason."

"Get some rest," Cragen said. "Not in the crib, just take the night. Thirty minutes wouldn't do you much good, and I'd rather not have you tonight than have you get really sick and be out for longer."

I opened my mouth to argue, but Elliot shook his head. "He's right, Liv."

"Ok," I conceded.

"I'll come check on you later," he said.

"Ok. See you." I went outside in the pouring rain.


	11. Chapter 11

_Elliot was concerned about Olivia, so he was glad Cragen had sent her home. She had been pale for days, and she constantly seemed to be cold. Part of him was also glad that she wouldn't be very involved in the case because it was the first serial rapist they were going after since Strapp, and he wanted to keep her safe._

_"Search for any connection between the victims," Cragen said again._

_"We know, Captain," John said dryly. "There doesn't seem to be one beyond their x chromosomes._

_Elliot rubbed his temples, staring at the files in front of him, trying to read between the lines and figure out any small similarity they might have missed. He flipped through the many papers in Eileen Prouhet's file, and his eyes fell on the copy of her birth certificate. No father was listed. "Do we know anything about Eileen's father?"_

_Fin held up another birth certificate. "I was about to ask the same thing about Nicola."_

_Elliot stared at him, then began going through all the files, pulling out the birth certificates. None of the women's fathers were identified. It was all beginning to fall in place in Elliot's mind._

_When he had double-checked that they had no information on any of the fathers, Elliot's heart fell. "Damn it. DAMN IT!"_

_Everyone stared at him as he jumped to his feet, grabbing his jacket, keys, and gun._

_"Elliot, what are you doing?" Cragen demanded._

_"They're all children of rape!" Elliot shouted. "That's why they only have their mothers listed. Who knows how he finds them, but we just sent one of them home!"_

_Cragen, John, and Fin all looked horrified. "Oh my God," Fin muttered, following Elliot's lead and grabbing his gun._

_"Hold on," Cragen said. "Call her."_

_Elliot hit the speed dial on his phone, praying as he never had before that he would hear Olivia's voice. "Come on, Liv," he whispered desperately. "Come on."_

_She didn't answer. He tried two more times. Nothing. That confirmed his worst fears. She would never not answer her phone after he called so many times. She would never let him worry._

_Without another word, Elliot ran out of the precinct and got into his car. He was so distracted he could hardly drive. Traffic was worse than usual because of the bad weather and he often found himself at a dead standstill. He had his siren on, of course, but people couldn't really get out of the way. There was nowhere to go._

_"DAMN IT!" Elliot yelled, slamming his hand into the steering wheel. He knew she wouldn't be at her apartment. He didn't even particularly know why he was going there, but he had no idea where else to start._

_After what seemed a lifetime, Elliot pulled up in front of Olivia's apartment building. He registered her car in the parking lot which sent his heart plunging into his stomach. She wasn't just stuck in traffic without phone service. She had reached her apartment and dropped out of communication._

_The man would have attacked her as she entered the building. Or would he have waited to attack her outside her apartment? Maybe she was there._

_He ran up the stairs and down the hall. He didn't even bother saying "police" before he kicked the door open and ran inside, gun poised and ready to fire. He went through every room, his heart pounding, half-convincing himself that he'd find Olivia asleep on her bed or the couch, and dying a thousand deaths every time she wasn't there._

_His phone rang and he felt a swoop of hope before he saw that it was John. "She's not here," he said weakly. "Her car's in the parking lot, but she's not here."_

_He hardly heard John telling him that he and Fin were going to question the victims again to see if they had any idea where the man might take Olivia. He hung up, completely lost, staring around the apartment for some sign of what to do. Everything he saw, however, just reminded him of Olivia and threatened to send him over the edge._

_He couldn't take another second of just standing there. He ran back down the stairs and outside. "OLIVIA!" he shouted frantically, but the pounding rain drowned out his voice._


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Hey guys! Well, I'm sorry about the wait. Thanks for the reviews! I wanted to ask your opinion on something, so if you have feelings either way, please let me know in a review. As the story is written at the moment, there are two more chapters after this one. Should I add another chapter from Elliot's POV (like chapter 11) after this one? I think it might be good and make the story more complete. And then there would be three more updates instead of two! So yeah, thanks!

* * *

I remember putting my hand on the door, about to go into the building. My last thought was that I was freezing cold, and then I don't remember anything until I came to in a dark room.

I immediately felt for my gun and badge. I didn't have them. Whoever had taken me knew that I was a cop. I couldn't decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

I felt the back of my head with my fingers. There was a big bump and I realized with a jolt that I had been taken by the same man we were after. How ironic.

My hands moved along the floor, trying to find walls. I felt something warm but it darted away from me. "Don't touch me!" someone said.

I almost fell over in shock. Someone else was there with me? Then I remembered that two of the victims had been found together, and presumably raped together. Having a civilian there made the situation much more difficult. I would have to act a certain way for her safety, and it would be harder to catch the perp. "Hey," I said gently. "Who's there?"

I heard slight movement. "Who are you?"

"My name is Olivia Benson. What's yours?"

"Rachel Burton."

"Rachel, I'm a police officer."

"Can you get us out of here?"

I sighed. "I'm going to do my best. He took my gun…my partner will be looking for us, though. We were working this case." I closed my eyes, a vision of Elliot flashing before my eyes. Oh God, Elliot. I didn't want him to be scared.

"I guess you were doing pretty well with it," Rachel said with a laugh that sounded more like a sob.

I smiled slightly. "Yeah. Rachel, do you have any idea why he picked you?"

"No," she whispered, sounding fearful. "I have no idea who he is. He must have been following me…." She stopped, breathing hard.

I reached out for her, finding her hand and squeezing it briefly. "Try to stay calm. I need you to promise me that you will listen to me. If I tell you to run, run."

"Ok."

I heard a door open somewhere and knew the man was coming for us. "Pretend to still be knocked out," I commanded, settling myself on the floor and going limp. I hoped she would be good at being limp. It is hard to relax completely, especially, I'm sure, when a man is dragging you somewhere with plans to rape you.

She must have been believable because he pulled us each out a door and into a dark alley. I hoped Rachel would trust me and not try to run right then. The man had one gun and presumably mine as well, along with other weapons. She would never make it.

It had stopped raining. I tried to guess what time it was, but I really had no idea. I also tried to make out any facial features of the man by opening my eyes as little as possible, but he was wearing a hood and the lower half of his face was covered with black mesh.

He threw us both down on the ground and slapped me hard across the face, I assume to wake me up. I was glad he turned on me first so I could hopefully come up with some way to distract him and let Rachel get away. I groaned softly and reached to touch the back of my head, opening my eyes. I found myself staring down the barrel of a gun. I faked a cry of horror.

The man held his finger to his lips, pointing the gun at Rachel, telling me that if I screamed, he would kill her.

I nodded at him frantically, assuring him that I would be quiet. All the while, my mind was racing. I didn't know what to do. I needed someone to come- Fin, or John, or Elliot. Especially Elliot.

He woke Rachel up the same way and I heard her mimic my reactions. Then he turned on me.

I still had no ideas. He was obviously holding one gun and I had been looking for where mine was, but I couldn't find it. The man was huge, linebacker huge, so I knew fighting him for the gun would be completely useless, and Rachel might get shot in the commotion. I looked around for a pipe or anything I could hit him with, but there was nothing.

As much as I hated to do it, I resigned myself to being raped. Hopefully there would be time for Rachel to run away.

The man yanked me to my feet and slammed me against the brick wall. My head was spinning so much that I could hardly focus my eyes on him. He tossed me onto the ground on my back again, and I lost my breath.

He reached down to unzip my jeans, but at that moment I heard a gun cock. I tried to look around but I couldn't move at all. The fear on the man's face was enough of a sign for me, however. Someone had come.

The man stood and pulled me up beside him, holding me tightly and putting the gun to my temple. I saw, staring back at us, his worst fears realized, Elliot.

His eyes went from me to Rachel and back to me where they stayed. "Let them go," he said, taking a step forward. I felt the perp's finger twitch and I closed my eyes, expecting a blast to come and be the last thing I'd ever hear. But nothing happened.

I opened my eyes and looked down and to my right. Rachel was sitting there, terrified. I caught her eye. "Run," I mouthed.

She got up and took off past Elliot before the man had the chance to do anything to her. He probably wouldn't have tried to shoot her then anyway because Elliot would have killed him immediately. As Elliot's partner, I served as a better hostage anyway.

Suddenly, the perp pushed me away from him and ran the other way. Elliot started to run after him, but then I heard two loud bangs from behind me. I fell to my knees, watching blood run down my right side and pool on the ground.

"Olivia!" Elliot shouted, running toward me. I heard the perp's footfalls behind me. He was not very far away. Elliot could catch him.

"Go," I said. I felt like the pain would kill me. I could hardly stay upright.

"Olivia." He was almost at my side.

"Go. I'm fine. It's only my arm. Get him before he finds another victim." I clenched my teeth against the pain and against the lie. I hated lying to Elliot. I wasn't fine. But I knew he would let the perp get away if he stayed with me. "Go!"

He looked straight into my eyes for another second and then sprinted past me.

I pitched sideways, catching myself on my left arm. From the searing pain in my right arm, I knew that one of the bullets had hit me there. The other, from what I could tell, had hit me in the chest. I was not coughing so I knew it had missed all vital organs, but I felt like a rib or two might have been hit. Breathing was the worst pain I had ever been in.

I lay on my side, taking short, quick breaths. The pain was blinding me until I could hardly think. I remembered Elliot dropping his cell phone next to me as he ran, so I felt around for it. I found it and flipped it open, hitting number one for the precinct.

"This is O-Olivia," I gasped, every syllable like a stab in the chest. "I need a bus…."

I passed out.


	13. Chapter 13

_Elliot chased after the perp, his anger spurring him on. This bastard had wanted to rape Olivia, and he shot her. Even if it was only her arm, Elliot still wanted to kill him. As he took aim, however, he knew that he shouldn't kill the guy. It was like Olivia had warned him. He needed to keep his cool or risk facing disciplinary action._

_As soon as he was within range, having darted around a corner to see the perp climbing a fence, Elliot pulled the trigger. The man fell to the ground, clutching his leg. Elliot went to him and put the cuffs on him, telling him his rights but not paying much attention. He just wanted to get back to Olivia._

_He heard sirens in the alley and pulled out his walkie-talkie. Before he could say anything, Fin's voice came out of his. "Elliot."_

_"Hey, I got him. He can't walk, so I'll need a bus."_

_"There's already one here," Fin said. Elliot thought his voice sounded odd._

_"Oh, for Liv?"_

_There was a pause. Then Fin said, "You mean…you've already seen her? You know she's hurt?"_

_Elliot's heart began racing. Fin's tone was so serious. It was, of course, not a good thing to be hit in the arm, but she had said she was fine…. "Yeah, it was just her arm." He noticed that his words were more of a plea than a statement._

_Fin didn't say anything for a second. "You'd better get back here, Elliot," he mumbled finally._

_Elliot didn't waste another second. Carrying the perp with a fireman's lift, he ran as fast as he could to the alley where he left Olivia, feeling like he might have a heart attack._

_He almost did when he saw the ambulance and the expressions on John and Fin's faces. They were standing to one side as paramedics lifted a seemingly lifeless Olivia onto a gurney. There was a large pool of blood on the ground. It couldn't possibly have all come from her arm. Elliot acknowledged with a sinking sensation that Olivia was not ok. And he had left her._

_He forgot that he was holding onto the perp, so it was a good thing the man couldn't very well run away. Elliot's grip loosened as he looked at Olivia._

_Her shirt was completely soaked with blood. He saw quite clearly what he had missed before- the bullet hole in her chest. Her skin was so pale that she seemed to be glowing in the moonlight. Her eyes were closed, and her forehead was furrowed as if in pain. She looked dead._

_"Is she…is…." He couldn't finish. He could hardly talk at all because of the guilt and terror that were gnawing away at him._

_"She's alive," John said softly, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyebrows. "But she needs to get to the hospital. She lost so much blood…."_

_Elliot closed his eyes, only to open them again when he heard the perp jeer, "Oh, is your girlfriend dead?"_

_Elliot lunged at him, but Fin grabbed him around the chest from behind and steered him away while John forced the perp into the back of the car. "Hey, I need to go to the hospital," he complained._

_"You'll live," John said back, slamming the door. He came over to Fin and Elliot. Taking Elliot by the shoulders, he said, "Ride along. Fin and I will take him down to the station. We'll tell Cragen where you are. Go."_

_Elliot nodded wordlessly and climbed into the ambulance. He could hardly look at Olivia, covered in blood and hooked up to oxygen. From behind him, he heard Fin say, "Elliot, don't beat yourself up about it, man. She wanted you to get the perp. Of course you listened to her."_

_Elliot shook his head, his nails digging into the skin on the back of his neck. "God, what did I do?" he whispered to himself as the door slammed and they sped off to the hospital._


	14. Chapter 14

When I woke up, I could tell I was in an ambulance. I could smell blood in the air. I hate that smell.

I heard frenzied voices saying things about blood loss. I didn't care about any of that. I just wanted to see Elliot. I tried to talk, but I realized that I had an oxygen mask on. I started to panic. What if it wasn't just my blood I smelled? What if Elliot was hurt too?

I guess the paramedics heard the change in my breathing because one of them leaned over me and said, "You need to calm down, Olivia. Take it easy."

I wanted to yell at him that I couldn't possibly be calm until I knew Elliot was ok, but I couldn't, of course. However, at that moment I felt a familiar touch on my left arm and heard his voice, though I couldn't see him. "Calm down, Liv. I'm here. You'll be ok."

I could tell he was upset and I wanted to tell him it was ok, but I couldn't stay awake any longer. I thankfully welcomed sleep as it delivered me from pain and thought.

I continued to wake up for minute-long stints all night and the next day. I couldn't focus on much, but I remember seeing Cragen, Fin, John, Casey, and even Rachel. And always Elliot. He did say he'd never leave me.

Finally, I was able to stay awake and think like a normal person. My right arm was in a sling. It still hurt to breathe, but I could deal with it. I looked to my left and saw Elliot asleep in a chair, holding onto my left hand. I didn't want to wake him up, but I really wanted to talk to him. "Elliot?" I said softly, squeezing his hand.

He opened his eyes. "Olivia!"

"Did you get him?"

He smiled. "One-track mind, there, Liv."

I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, I got him."

"Did you ever figure out what his deal was?"

A shadow passed across his face. "Yeah. Yeah, we did. I'll tell you about it later." He leaned forward and stroked my cheek. "How do you feel?"

"I'm ok."

"Olivia."

I smiled and shook my head. "No really, I'm ok. I mean, it hurts, but you know that." I looked into his eyes. "How are _you_?"

"Better now that you're awake."

"Yeah, I tend to have that effect on people." He laughed, and I looked him up and down. "Were you hurt?"

He shook his head. "No. I caught him pretty easily. Shot him in the leg." He looked down at our clasped hands and then back at my face. "You lied to me."

"I know. I'm sorry. I just…I wanted you to get him. And I knew you would let him get away if it was between getting him and helping me."

"Of course I would, Olivia." He sighed. I didn't think I'd ever seen him look so tired.

"Are you mad?"

"No. I was just worried. The whole time…I…I mean, you could have…and then…." He stopped. "I'm just glad you're ok," he finished softly. He leaned over and kissed me. "So I owe you one."

I raised my eyebrows. "One what? What did you do?"

"Oh, you know. I sort of…kicked your door down."

"Uh-huh. Yeah, you can fix that." I pulled him back down to me. "But first you can kiss me again."


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Hey guys. So, this is the last chapter for this story. I hope you like it! As always, I'd love it if you'd review and give me your impressions of this chapter, or the whole story. If you've never reviewed this story before, I really want to know what you thought. I have ideas for a new action-type story, so hopefully I will be able to write that soon. In the meantime...hint hint...I'm doing a story that is about Alex from the POVs of a lot of the other characters, including Elliot and Olivia (It's called I Can't Do This). Thanks so much for reading!

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Neither of us participated in the questioning of the perp. I was still on leave, actually, but Elliot didn't go, leaving it instead up to Fin and John. It was probably a good choice.

Elliot did explain it all to me after being briefed by the others. The man, Clayton Trefz, was a child of rape. He was angry about it and always felt like his mother hated him for being born. Hearing that sent shivers down my spine, but Elliot just kissed me and told me not to think about it. Anyway, Trefz found the names of other children of rape through some connections he had with hospitals in the area. He wanted to impregnate them…or us, I guess…to create a new generation of outcasts. Companions.

That, above all else, gave me comfort. I know that sounds strange…it's just that I have spent so much of my life trying to figure out if my dad's violence is part of me, and I finally had proof that I was ok. I would never wish the feelings of guilt and separation on anyone else. My goal as a detective for SVU is to prevent rapes and other crimes, but I also want to let the victims know that they can move on and enjoy life again. I want to decrease the impact that rape has on people's lives, and Trefz wanted to increase it.

It was good to get back to work after I was cleared for active duty again. I missed everyone. I missed spending my entire day with Elliot, even if we didn't get to talk much or anything.

I was sitting across from Elliot, both of us reading new files, when Cragen came over. "Another lead?" I asked, glancing up at him quickly.

He shook his head. "No. I wanted to tell you that Strapp was just executed."

Elliot's head snapped up. "Really?" he asked incredulously.

Cragen and I looked at him in surprise. "Change of heart?" Cragen asked.

"No," Elliot replied, almost smiling. "I guess I was just expecting…it feels like there should have been a bolt of lightning or something, doesn't it?"

I laughed, but I couldn't help agreeing. It did seem strange that the world hadn't given some sign, even a small one, that a notorious psychopath was gone.

"Anyway," Cragen went on, "I want you two to go and interview Yolanda McAdams."

Elliot and I both rose and headed for the door. It was a beautiful day, one of those days when it seems impossible that anything bad could happen.

Before I got into the car, Elliot pressed me up against it, kissing me passionately. "It's good to have you back, Liv," he said.

I hugged him. "It's good to be back."

We got into the car and drove away, continuing our never-ending task of standing up for special victims. It's daunting and dangerous work, but someone has to do it.

The world is a scary place, but I have Elliot's love and he has mine.

It's enough.


End file.
